Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Battling with God's Everlasting Creature

The reason why I haven't been posting as many posts as I should be, is the fact I'm at war. I'm at war with an opponent that's lived longer than humans. This opponent is smaller than any human living on this earth. An opponent which is more numerous than stars in the skies.

Ladies and gentleman, I'm at war with this creature:

I've always been armed with insect spray and a fly squat whenever I see it. Though I found that a cockroach's needs are similar to humans - we eat, sleep, eat, sleep and occasionally, copulate. The only difference is, cockroaches don't have to pay for the rent, electricity and phone bills.

I still can't get rid of the image of a cockroach prancing around the house over left over crumbs of choc-chip cookies I accidentally dropped on the tiled floor. Nor do I enjoy the image of a cockroach hiding in my bed sheets. I have killed cockroaches with many means, even mixing deadly chemicals to get rid of them. But still, these little buggers find any nook and cranny and still invade my daily life.

My war with the cockroaches escalated when I opened the fridge the other day. After dinner, I occasionally have a small bowl of choc-chip ice cream for dessert. As I opened the tub of ice cream, I saw some ugly antennae sticking out of the tub. I gasped. With its brown shell lying in the middle of the ice cream tub, I was disgusted with what I saw. I threw the tub into the bin and realised something.

I've lost the war with the cockroach.

No matter what I do, the little bugger will come to haunt me at any random hour of the day. Whenever a politician is planning on world domination, I can feel it in my bones that the cockroaches are chuckling underground knowing they've won. After all, what other creature has lived ever since dinosaurs roamed around the earth?

Happy reading!


Another David said...

If it's any consolation, everyone from DC to New York is at war with stink bugs, which in some ways, they're worse than cockroaches. For example, you can't just crush them because then they smell like ass and bad milk. No, you have to capture them and toss them in the toilet. AND THOSE FUCKERS CAN FLY!

Five Foot Nothing said...
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Five Foot Nothing said...
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Death Wears Diamond Jewellery said...

remember in the movie Scream, where one of the charters is talking about the formula of horror movies and he says something like 'the killer always comes back for one last scare?'

it works with bugs, especially cockroaches. they trick you. you must physically remove their carcass otherwise they WILL come back for one last scare...

gigdiary said...

Welcome to adulthood, Tina. Along with paying taxes and remembering to vote, the cockroach war is a rite of passage. Like yourself, I've found it a war difficult to win, that is until recently.

Some years ago I moved my place of work to an office on the second floor of a commercial building. Given that downstairs was a take-away restaurant, I soon had a problem with the vermin. Next door was a deli run by a Chinese man. I told him about the problem and he handed me a vial of pellets, labelled with Chinese writing. He said 'scatter these around, but not too much.'

A week later I returned to his shop and said gleefully, 'it worked, no more cocky monsters.'

I then asked, 'what is that stuff?'

He said, 'I can't sell it here in Australia, but see that Chinese writing, it says 'last dinner'.

And it was. I've never seen a cockroach since.

Five Foot Nothing said...

@ Another David: Bugs are annoying. No more needs to be said. I have no idea why evolution had to occur for these annoying creatures.

@ DWDJ: I agree. Cockroaches always come back to haunt you. No idea why they exist.

@ Gigdiary: Give me the details. I might need them soon.

Alex. said...


I am actually terrified of them. I'd rather have a spider on me than a cockroach. If I see one, I shake and start losing it. I can't stand them.

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