Friday, May 21, 2010

Feel free to ask me anything!

As this is Friday, I'm thinking about the weekend ahead. It's a mixture of catching up on my law readings, writing essays, working and meeting up with my friends. I'll also be rescuing koalas from the cold weather and making a fool of myself.

The point here is:

Whether it is what I have for breakfast, to what my favourite movies are or you're curious as to how this blog came about - ask away. I'm not going to shy away from any of the questions you post. In fact, this could be fun!

This also serves me a great opportunity to procrastinate on my final law exams too.

Happy reading!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Why do we hold ourselves back?

It’s human nature to hold ourselves back when we’re in a situation we haven’t encountered before. Or even worse, if we’ve been through a situation that’s gut-wrenching and we see similarities to the current situation, we don’t only hold ourselves back, we run. If we could buy a ticket to the Moon - we would head over there to run away from our troubles.

Holding back is a bit like a sailor anchoring their ship to a rock. He takes a rope, ties it securely to a rock, drops the rock into the water and the boat's anchored. The rock will hold the boat in place. It's easier than cooking two minute noodles.

The thought that water and the wind have an erratic personality doesn't cross the sailor's mind.

Then one night, a cyclone hits the coast of the beach. The wind is so strong, it causes the rock to drag across the sea bed by the boat. The sailor who naively believed the anchor would secure the ship now realises his mistake.

As humans, holding ourselves back is a defence mechanism. If we've been through poor past experiences, we will use these as lessons to avoid getting hurt in the future.

However, the more we hold ourselves back, the more we hinder ourselves from future prospects.

So why do we still hold back on our feelings if we're going to experience grief anyway?

Perhaps we just hate the thought of getting a negative outcome out of a situation. Maybe the idea of confronting someone is just too much to handle.

Or maybe letting go of who you are to become the person you will be scares you half to death.

Happy reading,

Monday, May 3, 2010

I've Neglected Myself

I apologise for my absence during the month of April, this includes my friends, family and my great online readers. This year has been excruciating for me. For a long time, I've always put other people's needs before myself.

I didn't express my opinions about anything. Even simple things like "I don't want anchovies on my pizza" just because it was easier to go along with people, then getting a backlash due to my answer.

If there were tasks which had unrealistic deadlines, I'd complete the task straight away rather than telling my supervisor I couldn't handle the work load. I'd rather have duties piled on me than to admit I can no longer cope with the demands set on me.

I'd give up on my weekends to work, rather than admit I need a break - just because I was taught to think about others before yourself. At one stage, I had this idea that I could create more time. It's relentless. There never seems to be enough hours in a day. I wish there were eight days in a week. As a child, I wondered how there were never enough hours in a day and secretly wish I could extend time, just so I could complete tasks set out for me.

Then one day, I gave up being nice girl. Working and studying seven days a week took a toll on my health. I looked myself at the mirror, staring back at me was an image of a girl with red eyes, sunken cheeks and my usual sunny disposition was no where to be seen. I couldn't even pull myself to write or buy milk. I didn't have the energy to log onto my blog and type.

By neglecting this blog, I neglected myself. Attending to other people's needs before my own was something I was taught to do as a child. No one ever told me that it was fine to think about yourself once in a while. In fact, I was taught it was selfish to do so.

So from today, I'm slowly learning that it's fine that you can't complete the 1001 tasks set out by your supervisor. That it's fine to be vulnerable and ask for help support from your friends and family when I need it. And most of all, I learnt that it's not selfish to think for yourself every now and again.

Happy reading!
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