Sunday, May 16, 2010

Why do we hold ourselves back?

It’s human nature to hold ourselves back when we’re in a situation we haven’t encountered before. Or even worse, if we’ve been through a situation that’s gut-wrenching and we see similarities to the current situation, we don’t only hold ourselves back, we run. If we could buy a ticket to the Moon - we would head over there to run away from our troubles.

Holding back is a bit like a sailor anchoring their ship to a rock. He takes a rope, ties it securely to a rock, drops the rock into the water and the boat's anchored. The rock will hold the boat in place. It's easier than cooking two minute noodles.

The thought that water and the wind have an erratic personality doesn't cross the sailor's mind.

Then one night, a cyclone hits the coast of the beach. The wind is so strong, it causes the rock to drag across the sea bed by the boat. The sailor who naively believed the anchor would secure the ship now realises his mistake.

As humans, holding ourselves back is a defence mechanism. If we've been through poor past experiences, we will use these as lessons to avoid getting hurt in the future.

However, the more we hold ourselves back, the more we hinder ourselves from future prospects.

So why do we still hold back on our feelings if we're going to experience grief anyway?

Perhaps we just hate the thought of getting a negative outcome out of a situation. Maybe the idea of confronting someone is just too much to handle.

Or maybe letting go of who you are to become the person you will be scares you half to death.

Happy reading,


Death Wears Diamond Jewellery said...

i think fear plays a huge part in it. fear of the unknown. or fear of being hurt. no one wants hurt.

Thinking Nic said...

Hey Tina,

Holding back comes with a defence mechanism, i must agree. From here on end, whatever the situation may be, even in the strongest of all winds and storms, one must pull themselves out of it and look from a different point of view.

Accept hurt. Accept that the future holds only what we make of it, what we may think of it.

It is ok to hold back i think. But holding back all the time isnt going to get very far for anyone. Its always going to be scary, but try new things, try to step over the fear that we all have and move into a positive attitude towards life itself.

Step back, but dont hold back. Step back and see what can be done, or just have a positive attitude towards what one may fear.

Some can be boxed in by fear, lost of hope, being hurt, being mistreated etc, but it always or most of the times happen, stand there and laugh AT it. Dont be enclosed by the thought of fear of being hurt again, once more and many times more, it will come in sorts of shape and size. Rise upon it.

Siobhan said...

Fear of the unknown, change, from jumping from the frying pan into the fire etc. Plus I think we are taught from a young age not to take risks, while sensible when you are say 5, not so much in twenties. Saying that, once you start making changes and forcing yourself out of your comfort zone (speaking from personal experience) it's hard to stop, the self-confidence you gain is life changing.

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