Sunday, August 30, 2009

Recount: An extra ordinary item to brighten up your day

I haven't witnessed or experienced anything extraordinary of late, I shall make this post extra ordinary instead. There's this particular recount I want to share with you. I hope my extra ordinary recount will make your day feel extraordinary.

Here it goes:

I enter a department store, there were a rumble of shoes lying there. I glance at the lady beside me, who picks up a pair of black ballet flats with a bow from the pile.

Next to her was a three year old boy, sucking a lollipop. The boy proceeds to grab the pair of flats from the lady. The lady shocked by this action, takes the ballet flats off the boy, turns him around and slaps him on the bottom.

The boy drops the lollipop onto the floor and cries.

Another lady comes running to the scene.

"How dare you! How dare you hit my son!"

"You're son was trying to steal my shoes!"

"How can they be your shoes? You haven't even purchased it yet!"

"They're my shoes. I saw them first. Besides, your son deserves the slap! If you taught your son manners, I wouldn't have slapped him in the first place!"

"Excuse me! You're not allowed to slap my son in broad daylight. I'm his mum, I choose to see what punishment I see fit!"

"Clearly, you're judgment is wrong!"

The ladies start wrestling one another. The boy stops crying, with his eyes glued to the fight.

Two security guards come charging down to the scene. The guards had to restrain the ladies from having another hit, before carrying them off the scene.

The first lady still clinging onto the ballet flats said, "These are my shoes!"

I hope this recount has made your day extraordinary.

Happy reading!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The more you date, the higher your IQ

The last time I went on a date was when I was a 8 year old. I was dating an older man. He was 9 years old. His name was Daniel*. I spent recess pulling out dandelion, filled the styrofoam cup with water and placed the dandelion in the cup.

My attempt in making the date pleasant was unsuccessful. Daniel decided I was a sissy as I didn't know how to kiss him properly on the cheeks. The date lasted 20 minutes. I believe it's the shortest date on record. I should seriously apply for the Guinness World Records for this.

I caught up with my friends on the weekend and we started talking about dating. Since I had little experience in the dating front, I didn't want to comment much. Until, a friend of mine blurted this out:

"I read it somewhere that the more you date, the higher your IQ is".

Now, I don't know what source of information my friend received this information from. I've been searching the world wide web and I haven't found out. However, whoever was conducting this research didn't realise how flawed this assumption was.

Honestly, the more people you date doesn't increase your IQ - it just makes you more aware on the type of partner you eventually want to settle with. Also, with the dating, you are learn to read people's body languages a lot more clearer.

Another thing to point out, what type of IQ test were these participants doing? Each IQ test is different, some questions are mathematically based. Others like myself, wouldn't know the answer to 1+1. Depending on the amount and type of questions used, this experiment really goes down the gurgle.

When I told my friend the flaws of this experiment, she refused to believe me - stated that I'm a cynic.

What do you think my fellow petites?

Happy reading!

* Names have been changed for privacy reasons.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Public Transport Etiquette

I think it's safe to say that the majority of us have had unpleasant encounters while travelling on public transport. After catching the train to go to uni for the last three years, I want to publish a book titled "Transport Etiquette" - dealing with all the things people should and shouldn't do on public transport.

I'm so passionate about this issue, I want to publish a book about it and make millions of dollars out of it. Okay, that's a bit to much, maybe a couple of thousands of dollars at least.

5ft0's tips for travelling on public transport:

1. Offer your seat to the elderly, pregnant or disabled passengers.

Finding a seat in peak hour is a blessing. But, I get so annoyed when commuters don't even notice a pregnant passenger standing on the train/bus etc. Seriously, it'll take the waters to break before anyone notices.

2. Keep loud private chat out of the public realm

Whether done face-to-face or through the mobile, speak in a low tone. Personally, I don't care if Mary got it on with the boss at work, or Jerry spending $9,000 on tyres - people either don't care about your life, or being human, will eavesdrop to hear what you're saying.

3. Turn down the volume of your iPod or MP3 player

I thank God for Apple for inventing the iPod and listening to The Beatles to kick-start my morning. However, not all commuters will share your taste in music. Or, they prefer a peaceful start to their morning. Either way, turn down the volume of your iPod - it shows manners and can save you from potential hearing loss.

4. Move down a seat

With public transport, usually there's join seats. At peak hour times of the day, public transport is naturally packed. So please, if you're sitting on an aisle seat and the person on the window seat has left, you must take the window seat. It's just polite to allow people to have the seat on the aisle.

5. When the person from the window seat wants to get out

Please, please, stand up and allow them to get out. Unless I was twig, I'm not skinny enough to walk through that small space. I don't care what you're excuse is (unless your pregnant) - you have two legs, use them.

6. Don't do things you'll only do in the privacy of your bathroom

Please whatever you do, don't cut your fingernails all over the place. The sound is so awkward, not to mention it's gross and spreads disease.

7. Spread out

If you're boarding a crowded train, commuters tend to stand next to the door. If you are getting off at the next stop, fine. If not, please spread out along the aisle. The doorway has to be clear, so people can safely board and leave. Also remember, to let passengers get off the train before you get on.

Holy cheese and crackers, I realised I sound like a cranky old person - but seriously, I don't want to see fingernails lying on the floor.

Have you encountered any rude/gross/unusual experience whilst catching public transport? At least, I can remind myself I'm a 22 year-old girl, and not a 67 year-old geriatric.

Happy reading!

Friday, August 14, 2009

I've found a new way to cook my sausages!

With the advent of MasterChef Australia and watching Poh, Julie and all the other contestants reaching new heights in their culinary skills - my skills have gone down to new lows.

If any of the judges of MasterChef Australia saw what I was cooking for breakfast this morning - or rather, what appliance I used to re-heat my sausages, I would be given a lecture big time.

Last night, I had bangers and mash for dinner. We made more sausages than the whole family could consume - so I placed the remaining leftovers into a container and put it the fridge.

When it came to re-heating the sausages the next day, I was buggered - so buggered that I couldn't take a frying pan, pour some vegetable oil into the pan and cook my sausages in it. I did the unthinkable, out of all utensils I used to cook my sausages - I used this little humble device:

As I was 'cooking' with this device, I shook my head, realising how lazy I truly am. Seriously, I'm developing a morbid fear of my own laziness. With loads of assignments, note-taking and essays coming up - I've come up interesting ways to cook my food.

Just to put me out of misery, do you peeps have inventive ways in re-heating or cooking for food? Or am I the only person in the Great Land Down Under to have put the Australian culinary industry to shame?

Happy reading,

P.S - The sausages tasted great!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

New celebrity male crush: Charlie Pickering

Fact: Love geeky guys! They're cute!
Lie: I saw Adam Brody and Charlie Pickering catch the 380 bus to the Paddington markets yesterday.

When "The OC" was axed yonks ago, I wondered how will I survive without a weekly dose of Seth Cohen. Now, I've found my new celebrity geeky crush: comedian Charlie Pickering.

I instantly fell in love with Charlie Pickering as host of the 7PM Project and one of the team leaders in Talkin' 'bout your Generation. Pickering possesses a superb knowledge of irrelevant pop culture trivia, funny - not to mention, he recently admitted he had a hard time at school because he was a geek.

Charlie Pickering reminds me of The OC's adorably goofy and hilarious Seth Cohen. I fell in love with Adam Brody for his character as the unpopular geek obsessed with comic books. Most of all, I watched it for his eternal love for Newport's snobby little rich girl, played by the perennial cutie Rachel Bilson.

Personally, I'll date a geek over a pretty boy for these reasons:

1. They don't have as many girls chasing after them - hence, geeks have had to use other means to attract girls, i.e. less corny love notes, treating a girl like a princess. Whereas popular guys are use to girls falling at their feet, and wouldn't have mastered the art of the dating etiquette.

2. You don't have to play dumb - or at the very least, don't hide the fact you're a smart cookie. Unlike the pretty boys, geek guys have no insecurities about their manhood, so they don't feel threatened by a smart, capable female.

3. While the popular guys are way too busy picking up that hot girl from Maccas - geek guys have other interests they're occupied with, i.e. sharpening up their skills in chess/computers/comic books/writing. Hence, they have more interesting things to talk about.

4. They're extremely polite - you definitely won't be hearing crass words from these adorable guys.

5. They're smart, hence they can help you with an assignment/exam you are currently tackling with.

6. Geeks may become your bosses, at the very least, working at a high position of a company one day. It pays to be nice.

For the observant readers out there, I know Charlie Pickering is happily married with a wife - but it's just an innocent crush!

Happy reading,

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Austereo: It's time for a change.

I can feel the Legal and PR department over at the Austereo network and Network Ten working overtime due to the Kyle Sandilands saga. In particular with the Austereo network, I have no idea why the network didn't realise that their loud-mouth asset could bring the whole network down.

Personally, I feel the whole Austereo network team should've realised they were raising a big problem back in 2000, when Kyle started out as a night-time host at the Hot 30 Countdown. Even then, Kyle was bullying producers around, and criticising other announcers within the Austereo family.

Then in 2005, Kyle and Jackie O got their wish, being hosts of the breakfast show. Of course, they brought it the ratings and advertisers - but also, Sandilands demanded the delay "dumb" button to be taken off. Hence, the people in running the Kyle and Jackie O were in charge of a zoo.

Honestly, the breakfast show can be liken to the things Jerry Springer use to do. What happened over a week in regards to the fourteen-year-old announcing she had been raped as a twelve-year-old is a trademark for Kyle and Jackie O show. A few weeks ago, there was a masturbation competition as Kyle, Jackie's husband and their newsreader all gave sperm samples to see who was the most 'manly'.

Right now, Kyle is shaking his head thinking "Why has this happened to me?" It's a bit like a kid who's been getting away with any sorts of trouble for years from the parents, and now he's suddenly kicked in the guts, wondering why he has been punished.

For years now, Kyle and Jackie O are surrounded by yes-people. Why? People tune into the show, it's the number one breakfast radio show in Sydney. Hence, money is coming into the station in millions.

I hope Jackie O gets a lot of punishment too. She isn't the sweet, serene person perceived on television and radio - if she condones Kyle's behaviour, then she's just a twisted person herself.

My advice to Austereo? It's about time you created a new breakfast show which doesn't resemble a Jerry Springer talk-show.

Rant over,

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Kyle and Jackie O temporarily ousted

I think I saw pigs fly today, seriously. The Austereo network finally had the balls to do something.

Now, Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O has been suspended indefinitely after last week's lie detector test. For more information, click here.

Personally, I think the Austereo network have reacted to this situation way too late. If you remember the Chaser debacle over the skit about dying children, the group acknowledged they 'got it wrong' and went off air for two weeks. The ABC responded immediately, and the Chasers got their punishment.

At first, I thought the only way the Kyle and Jackie O show would only be taken off air if major sponsorship pull out and ratings drop. However, people power and the web took the show off air - so just maybe...the duo are taking responsibility over what happened last week.

Looks like Kyle can blame the media now.

Happy reading,

Saturday, August 1, 2009

"Hey, your song sounds the same as mine!"

As you all know by now, Kelly Clarkson is arguing with RCA Records (a subsidiary unit of Sony Music Entertainment). It's the dispute over her new power ballad - which sounds similar to Beyonce's 2008 hit, "Halo".

Disputes began when Clarkson realised her single, "Already Gone", co written with songwriter Ryan Tedder, was a deadringer of another Tedder produced tune, "Halo".

Now, Tedder has confessed that he gave both platinum-selling signers a tune with the same back tracking. However, by the time Kelly had heard "Halo" and realised the similarities between the tracks, her current album All I Ever Wanted was already in print.

In an interview with Canada's CBC Radio, Clarkson revealed she had been fighting behind the scenes to keep her latest single, "Already Gone" from being released - to no avail. She believed when listeners heard the song, they would be thinking "Kelly ripped off Beyonce's Halo song."

This type of case has never existed before - but as a law student who is interested in becoming a media lawyer, it's riveting stuff!

It is obvious the U.S courts will be heavily relying on the copyright law. I must express, the most important thing any journalist, musician, entertainer (hell, anyone involved in media must know) is that a copyright protects the expression of an idea, it does not protect the idea itself.

The issue here, is the melody behind both "Halo" and "Already Gone". Since Tedder owns the copyright to the melody - then they may not be any charges against him. Personally, I think it's sheer laziness that Tedder decided to use the same melody for both Clarkson and Beyonce.

However, I'm not the judge - so the trial may turn around and announce a different decision.

So Petites, what are your thoughts on this? Should Tedder be charged?

Happy reading,
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