My cooking skills are elementary. Christmas is the time where you’re suppose to consume glace cherries, plum pudding and turkey. However, I think I’m the only person on Earth who dislikes consuming all of these produce.
Glace cherries repulse me. Their red or green jelly appearance makes me feel ill. They don’t resemble or taste anything like cherries. Even on December 25th, I wouldn’t go near one.
Plum pudding? Its appearance, without the custard reminds me of the content of animal waste, whose diet consists of vegetables and legumes. It’s big and brown and the thought of sticking this into my mouth, also repulses me.
In regards to turkey, I know I can hear readers through Twitter screaming, “But Christmas isn’t the same without a turkey!” This may be true, though I wish I could be consuming other forms of meat like a roast chicken instead.
So I decided to look through recipes for inspiration. Looking at the pictures of food books makes my mouth water. Following the instructions implicity however, is a different story. No matter how many times I re-read instructions of a recipe books, it never turns out the same way it’s shown in the book.
What I should be cooking should resemble something like this:
After reading through recipes to make bolotti bean brushchetta, salmon arancini and pork and chive dumplings, I’ve resorted to doing something which should be considered a Christmas crime. Instead I bought this:
And then pretending I made this all from scratch.
I don’t know why I bother, it’s not like anyone would care. It’s obvious I didn’t make it; I don’t re-stock the fridge with fresh vegetables, meat and fruit. It’s filled with fully-prepared meals and nothing in between. I can imagine my extended family sitting in the table, with my Dad putting on a straight face saying, “This is delicious, Tina”.
Has anyone taken drastic short-cuts to shorten Christmas preparations? Or dislike certain foods which were only meant to be eaten during Christmas? Please do tell me.
Happy reading (& a very Merry Christmas!)
**Pictures courtesy of Better Homes & Gardens